The Lighter Side of- Animorphs 2
by Henry
Summary: You asked for a sequel, and, unfortunately, here it is.


_Disclaimer- Don't own Animorphs, no matter how hard I try..._   


  


The Lighter Side of-Animorphs   
**2**   
****

  
  


*Scene- Cassie's barn* 

Ax: The Andalite fleet is coming.> 

Rachel: "No, it isn't." 

Ax: Yes, it is.> 

Rachel: "No, it isn't." 

Ax: YES, IT IS!> 

Rachel: "NO, IT ISN'T!" 

Jake: "Enough! We don't know if the fleet is coming or not!" 

Marco: "Dude...I am so f*cking stoned..." 

Jake: "Huh?!" 

Marco: "I know the secrets of the universe..." 

Jake: "Marco, are you high?" 

Tobias: Yep, he is! And for five dead rats, you, too, can be as content as Marco!> 

Jake: "Tobias...are you dealing weed?" 

Tobias: No...I call it 'Roadkill Smoke'. It'll leave you satisfied...but in need of more. Five dead rats for half a pound!> 

Jake: "I'm sure that's illegal and immoral...but, what the hell, this leadership thing's getting to me...Ax, kill some rats." 

Ax: Ah, do it yourself, you lazy, pathetic excuse of a man.> 

Jake: *Veins throb* "What...did you just...CALL ME?!" 

Ax: Um, my supreme leader of this and every other universe?> 

Jake: "Better...and where's Cassie?" 

*Cassie enters, wielding a chainsaw* 

Rachel: "Cassie? Why do you have a weapon?" 

Cassie: "Years of pent-up agression. And now, I will kill you all!" 

Jake: "Um...would you mind killing some Yeerks, instead?" 

Cassie: "Oh, no, I couldn't...killing innocent Hork-Bajir or humans would be immoral and conscious scarring." 

*A group of Hork-Bajir controllers run in, shooting dracon beams. One signs Cassie's hair* 

Cassie: "Hey! He shot my hair!" *Revs chainsaw* "Son of a bitch." 

*A few seconds of mass murdering later...* 

Marco: "Why you so violent, Cassie? Peace and love, yo..." 

*Cassie walks away from a pile of dead Hork-Bajir and random limbs* 

Cassie: "I think I will, now. That really helped me blow off some steam..." 

Rachel: "The Yeerks know where we are now! We have to kill them all!" 

Jake: "Usually I'd make some self-contradicting yet inspiring statement, but I forgot to have my Honey Bunches of Oats this morning, so I say...what the hell? KILL THEM ALL!" 

Marco: "Leader, man...be at peace, yo..." 

Ax: There is no need for all of us to go...this mission seems adequate for...> *He runs off, with Tobias following. They come back a few seconds later, dressed in cheap masks and capes* ...AX-MAN, and his faithful sidekick, BIRD-BOY!> 

Tobias: Holy bad roles, Ax-Man!> 

Jake: "Um...kay...we'll let you handle it, then..." 

Ax: Thank you, good citizen. Come, Bird-Boy!> 

Tobias: Holy crap storyline, Ax-Man!>   


*Later, down in the depths of the Yeerk Pool* 

Ax: Now, my eager young ally, let's kick Yeerk butt!> 

*They leap in. Ax strikes a Hork-Bajir with his tail, but instead of the noise the wound would generate, a large cardboard cutout appears, with the word 'SLASH!' written across it* 

Tobias: Holy cheap effects, Ax-Man!> *He uses his talons to rake a Taxxon's eyes, and a cardboard cutout with 'RAKE!' appears* 

Ax: *Punches a Hork-Bajir, with a 'POW!' sign.* Hurry, Bird-Boy! We must destroy these villains before the evil Visser arrives!> 

Visser One: *Enters* It is too late for that, Axmilli.> 

Tobias: Holy evil villains, Ax-Man!> 

Ax: ...okay, stop that, it's getting annoying.> 

Visser One: Before I kill the two of you for your impudence...there's something you should know about us, Axmillli. Elfangor never told you what happened to your father...> 

Ax: Happened? My father's perfectly fine back on the homeworld!> 

Visser One: No, Axmilli..._I _am your father.> 

Ax: !!!!> 

Tobias: Holy rip-off revelation, Ax-Man!> 

Ax: NOOOOO!!!!!> 

Visser One: Now, get out of that silly outfit, and join me...so that we may rule the galaxy as father and son...> 

Ax: Wait...you can't be my father...> 

Visser One: Why not?> 

Ax: For starters, you're a Yeerk...and Alloran has no DNA similar to mine...> 

Visser One: Yeah, that doesn't make sense...> 

Ax: Anyway...at him, Bird-Boy!> 

Tobias: Holy understated credit sequence, Ax-Man!>   


*Back at the barn* 

Jake: "Got any threes?" 

Rachel: "Go fish." 

Marco: "Fish, man...fish is like, the essence of water, man..." 

Cassie: "Yes, that's nice..." 

*Crayak appears* 

Jake: "AAAH! A cheaply designed evil villain!" 

Crayak: "Shut it, human! I am here to break the rules of the game and slaughter you all!" 

Ellimist: *Appears* "No, you will not!" 

Crayak: "Get out of my way or be destroyed!" 

Marco: "Yo, you super-dimensional beings need to chill, you dig? Have some Roadkill Smoke." 

Ellimist: "Um...okay, sure..." 

Crayak: "Eh, what the hell..." 

*A few minutes later...* 

Ellimist: "Man, this shit is AWESOME!" 

Crayak: "You know, I wanted to tell you something, man..." 

Ellimist: "What?" 

Crayak: "I love you, man..." 

Ellimist: "Dude, I love you, too." 

*They hug, despite the fact they don't have bodies* 

Marco: "Yo, that's it...be at peace..." 

Rachel: "That stuff must work wonders...guess I'll try some." 

Cassie: "Me, too!" 

*A few minutes later* 

Rachel: "Cassie, this is worse than that time you and I 'experimented'." 

Cassie: "If Jake gets stoned, maybe we could let him in on the action..." 

Jake: !!! *Instantly takes Roadkill Smoke* 

*Later still...* 

Ax: *He and Tobias enter, with Visser One as their captive* We've done it! We finally caught Visser...what the hell?!> 

Tobias: Holy stoned teenagers, Ax-Man!> 

Crayak: "Be happy, bird...be at peace, yo..." 

Marco: "Have some o yo stuff, Toby, man..." 

Jake: (v/o) "YEAH! YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YA, BITCH?!" 

Ax: Doesn't anyone care that we caught the Visser?!> 

Marco: "Not particularly..." 

Rachel: (v/o) "HARDER, YOU STUPID MALE!" 

Cassie: (v/o) "STOP HOGGING HIM!" 

Ax: Sigh...whatever.> *He kicks Visser One into high orbit, and takes the Roadkill Smoke*  
  
  
Tobias: Holy crappy sequel, Ax-Man!>   


*In another place* 

Visser One: So, they're human...why do I feel so stupid? Ah, well...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *hack, cough, gag*>   


THE END? 


End file.
